Vallhall 7's 2010

Match report by George
27/02/2010

Like a scene from planes, trains and automobiles – a select number of Bergen's finest made their way to Oslo for the Valhall 7s. Remarkably, given some of the driving, everyone arrived alive and in time to see the Welsh get beaten by France in the 6 Nations and have a few isotonic drinks ready for the early start the next day. A good night's sleep in Room 410 was slightly hindered by the god awful snoring coming from tour schoolboy Anders – no doubt dreaming of his cradle-snatching lady friend.

Not wanting to get a parking ticket – car Slaatta parked up legally outside the venue the next morning and we all made camp beside the ridiculously big pitch that we where meant to run around on later that day. Things started to look up as the National Polish women's team began a provocative warm up routine (especially that blonde one with the massive cans).

Only a little distracted we warmed up for our first game. An easier start would have been nice but instead we met Oslo and our lack (or complete absence) of preparation showed as we got beat in a pretty physical game. The highlight being a well aimed left hook from Arthur ‘anger issues’ Ducassy resulting in a red card and Bergen playing the rest of the game with 6 men. Oslo also went down to 6 players late on after Stian ‘mild mannered’ Røstberg tried to take someone's appendix out with his fist. I think the ref was worried about getting some of the same so controversially carded the Oslo player instead! The only other point of interest was an average tackle made by Andre which we will no doubt hear about for the rest of the season.

Trondheim where up next and although they had brought a good side with them, Bergen came out on top. However, if this is any indication then trips up to Trondheim for the 15’s need to be taken very seriously this season.

To have any chance of getting through to the final we needed to beat our Fijian hosts in the next game. Pretty early on (within say 3 or 4 seconds) we realised this was a big ask and we where instead given a bit of a lesson on good 7s rugby. Sammy scoring a nice individual try to save some face but we where well beaten – some of us more than others as Ed showed at half time by having some sort of stroke.

We saved our best game till last when despite nursing a few bumps Bergen started to relax and throw the ball around. Some nice team tries meant we ended on a high against a young Fredrikstad side.

The evening's entertainment was a heady mix of boozing and comparing of grazes. The Robinator held court in Dr Jekyll's until at least 12.30 before retiring to his bed fully clothed and alone. Sam lasted a bit longer before sensibly heading back for a sleep – the fact he took that snooze b*llock naked and mid sh*t we can gloss over. The rest of us were put royally in the shade by Arthur, who remarkably left the bar with his life, after some serious Fijian baiting.

So to summarise - the rugby may not have been what we had hope for on our part but we did get beat by the eventual winners and a pretty good Oslo side. Also, for 10 out of the 11 tourists we left Oslo without TWO kr 700 parking tickets – charitable donations can be made to Carl ‘yoda-like temperament’ Frisch. Apart from a small delay caused by a very nice policeman and his funny breathing machine everyone made it back to Bergen in one piece and hopefully a little more motivated to get down pre-season training.

The team :

Ed Moss-Ward
Anders Teigland
Andre Slaatta
Karl Frisch
Stian Røstberg
Will Hume
George Aird
Sam Hedger
Arthur Ducassy
Mick Shelley
Rob Grant